#mo

You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed. ↗

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching? ↗

It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

Oh no. Don't smile. You'll kill me. I stop breathing when you smile. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#desire #humor #love #romance #smile

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#heterosexuality #homosexuality #humor #wit #humor

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#seriousness #humor

Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it'd be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.' 'No I mean it. You don't look good.' 'This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #insults #jace-lightwood #simon-lewis #humor

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