#monkey

My boyfriend calls me 'princess', but I think of myself more along the lines of 'monkey' and 'retard'. ↗

— Alicia Silverstone

#along #boyfriend #calls #i #i think

Frank's audience doesn't care if a girl singer, a comic or an organ grinder with a monkey opens the show. They are there to see HIM. ↗

— Nancy Sinatra

#care #comic #frank #girl #grinder

You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone. ↗

— Tarsem Singh

#alone #ask #bananas #come #creatures

I swear by that old expression, 'One monkey don't stop no show!' The reality is, we still have some good men out there, and we should hail those men as the kings they are. ↗

— Angie Stone

#good #good men #hail #i #kings

I wrote the very first stories in science fiction which dealt with homosexuality, The World Well Lost and Affair With a Green Monkey. ↗

— Theodore Sturgeon

#dealt #fiction #first #green #homosexuality

When I was a little girl, I loved monkeys. I wanted to be a primatologist. I went to the careers office to ask how. Because nobody could give me a good answer, I opted for acting. ↗

— Audrey Tautou

#answer #ask #because #careers #could

There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true. ↗

— Ian Hart

#complete #eventually #gave #internet #know

My most heartfelt thank you goes to Impact Future Media and Cartoon Monkey Studio. Their dedication to the truth is very uncommon in the world we live in today. I am now, and will always be, grateful to their organizations. ↗

— John McAfee

#am #cartoon #dedication #future #goes

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor