#monkey

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special. ↗

— Stephen Hawking

#average #breed #just #makes #minor

Yes, I've kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that's it. I don't go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot. ↗

— Paris Hilton

#baby #go #go home #guys #home

Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. ↗

— Doug Coupland

#disguise #free #free time #handle #life

The president is here, strong and firm as a monkey's tail. ↗

— Jean Claude Duvalier

#here #monkey #president #strong #tail

Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us. ↗

— Jerry Lewis

#anything #blue #came #censors #expecting

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. ↗

— H. L. Mencken

#art #cage #circus #democracy #monkey

My first attempts to transmit typhus to laboratory animals, including the smaller species of monkeys, had failed, as had those of my predecessors, for reasons which I can easily supply today. ↗

— Charles Jules Henry Nicole

#easily #failed #first #had #i

There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true. ↗

— Ian Hart

#complete #eventually #gave #internet #know

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor

The boatman then gently guided the raft across. They saw a dead body floating. At the sight of this, the Master was greatly frightened. But Sun smiled and said, "Master do not be alarmed! That corpse is none other than your own." Zhu Bajie said, "It is you, it is you!" Sha the Monk clapped his hands, and also said, "It is you, it is you!" The boatman also remarked "It was yours, I congratulate you." The three pilgrims congratulated him, and they quietly crossed over the Could Ferry in safety. The Master's shape was changed, and he jumped ashore on the other side with a very light body. ↗

— Wu Cheng'en

#monkey #rebirth #change