#monkey

I don't want to sound pretentious, but you could hire a bunch of monkeys to be on a TV show, and if it's successful, then everything's perfect and everybody's happy. ↗

— Scott Caan

#could #everybody #everything #happy #hire

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? ↗

— Steven Wright

#had #like #million #monkey #write

Yes, I've kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that's it. I don't go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot. ↗

— Paris Hilton

#baby #go #go home #guys #home

A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop. ↗

— Robert Hughes

#determined #loafer #machine #monkey #more

When you're dealing with monkeys, you've got to expect some wrenches. ↗

— Alvah Bessie

#expect #got #monkeys #some #you

I learned the way a monkey learns - by watching its parents. ↗

— Prince Charles

#learned #learns #monkey #parents #watching

Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. ↗

— Doug Coupland

#disguise #free #free time #handle #life

You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone. ↗

— Tarsem Singh

#alone #ask #bananas #come #creatures

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor