#naught

To be bowed by grief is folly; Naught is gained by melancholy; Better than the pain of thinking, Is to steep the sense in drinking. ↗

— Alcaeus

#bowed #drinking #folly #gained #grief

Blank House was exactly a nice empty sheet where nothing was accountable because you were so naughty that you were in Blank House. ↗

— Diane Cilento

#because #blank #empty #exactly #house

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #awesome #bar #bizarre #drinking

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#condom #food #fruit #funny #humor

My favorite color on canvas is nudity.

 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#canvas #color #naughty #nude #nudity

No matter how bad things get, just keep looking up. Just keep looking up her skirt. Or his kilt. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#naughty #positive-attitude #skirt #attitude

Feeling a little foolish over her confidences, Elizabeth glanced up at him with an embarrassed smile. “What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?” Dragging his gaze from the beauty of the gardens, Ian looked down at the beauty beside him. “Any place,” he said huskily, “where you are. ↗

— Judith McNaught

#elizabeth #ian #judith-mcnaught #beauty

Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#closed #naughty #open #sex #business

If my remote control doubled as a dildo, I'd never get off my ass to change the channel. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #lazy #naughty #change

The valet blanched at the thought of four hours in a carriage. "I've sent for Dr. Fansher." As if that would shorten their errand. He gave McNaught an even look. "I never told you not to." McNaught lifted the curtain and peered out the window, letting in the pale light of dawn. He settled back on the seat. "At least there's decent inns in Carlisle." Frowning, he said, "I wish you'd told me, my Lord. I'd have packed a change of clothes." "We're not staying the night." "But we'll be the entire day on the road. Dr. Fansher would never approve of this." "With Andrew's horses, I expect we'll make good time." McNaught shook his head. "Worse than a cat after a mouse when you've got an idea in your head, you are." "My one virtue." "Small consolation when both man and mouse are dead." "So long as you bury us both at sea, I don't give a damn. ↗

— Carolyn Jewel

#mcnaught #sebastian #the-spare #change