#ny

Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up. “I thought you must be dead …” he said simply. “So did I for a while,” said Ford, “and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #lemon #funny

What would a racist call werewolves? Wargs? She kind of liked that one, but suspected that racist bastards didn't read Tolkien. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#irony #racism #tolkien #werewolves #humor

I didn't approve of murder on general principles. Not even of people who seemed to go around begging for it. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#josh-lanyon #somebody-killed-his-editor #humor

Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #woe #age

Shuck it,” Minho responded. “I’m tougher than nails. I could still kick your pony-lovin’ butt with twice this pain.” Thomas shrugged. “I do love ponies. Wish I could eat one right now. ↗

— James Dashner

#minho #pony-lover #scorch-trials #humor

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#am #anything #busy #cuts #doing

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #humor #love #age

Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen.  ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #love #age

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.  ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#car #disabled #funny #handicapped #humor

Why in the world would anyone want to photograph an old woman like me? ↗