#on

You are evidence of your mother's strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity. ↗

— Criss Jami

#cute #difficulties #disobedience #evidence #funny

It's sometimes funny to watch some people doing something the wrong way but doing it confidently. Even more funny, they succeeded. ↗

— Toba Beta

#fun #funny #succeeded #watch #watching

If you don't want me to be in love with you, you're going to have looking so lovely. First thing tomorrow, I'm having your maids sewing potato sacks to gether for you. ↗

— Kiera Cass

#maxon #most-adorably-sweet-quotes-ever #funny

I want to have breasts the size of Florida, so that people might see me at Ponte Vedra beach and gasp, “Look at the size of his Naples! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#florida #funny #naples #ponte-vedra #funny

My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life. ↗

— Maria Semple

#fiction #funny #humor #funny

Next to coming to a good understanding with a new mistress, I love a quarrel with an old one. ↗

— George Etherege

#good #i #i love #love #mistress

It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated. ↗

— Elizabeth Cruickshank

#funny #oxymoron #sick #twisted #vioolence

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday ↗

— Don Marquis

#procrastination #art

An ice sculpture in the Sahara makes about as much sense as donkey left open gaping wagon, Sergeant (add cream cheese sparingly).  ↗