#par

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes... ↗

— Helen Fielding

#parents #humor

Amy," Elsie Moore said in her crackling voice, her gaze fixed on Declan. "I want you to get me a new bear. A blond one. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#paranormal-romance #humor

The little weasel ripped all the buttons off my couch. Ivan Petrovsky, pg 350 ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#paranormal #vampires #humor

I took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas & Electric Company. I didn't know I had admirers there too, but I wasn't that surprised. I threw it in the trash with the IRS's love letters and closed the door without reply. ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#parody #humor

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#fiction #humorous #mystery #mystery-series #paranormal

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#paranoia #humor

Recent studies have shown that approximately 40% of authors are manic depressive. The rest of us just drink. ↗

— Melodie Campbell

#fantasy #humor #love #magic #paranormal

All masculine, hard-bodied and sensual, he was a deadly weapon sent by the gods to drive women mad, and a walking billboard for all things wicked and carnal. Orgasms! Get your orgasms here. Hot and juicy! Just how you like ‘em! ↗

— Lisa Sanchez

#paranormal #romance #sex-appeal #humor

If you're at a party with more than five people named Chad, get the fuck out right away. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#parties #humor

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#careful #dannika-dark #funny #humor #mageri