#phone

I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can eat just a little bit more.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#eating #food #funny #gorge #humor

Alecto was the oldest, unceasing in anger. Magaera was next, retaliator of jealousy, and Tisiphone, the last, regarded as the avenger of murder. ↗

— Elisabeth Naughton

#furies #greek-mythology #magaera #tisiphone #anger

Speaking of… does this mean you get your phone back?” I shrug. “I don’t really want that phone back. I’m hoping my whipped boyfriend will get me an iPhone for Christmas. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#dean-holder #funny #hopeless #iphone #sky-and-dean

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. ↗

— Ogden Nash

#home #hope #middle #middle age #night

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

How many men with a microphone can tell you what he loves the most? ↗

— The White Stripes

#love #men #microphone #most #tell

You ever notice if you call someones cell phone they won't answer but if you text them seconds later they will. "The Power of your Thumbs compels You! ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#communication-quotes #life-reality #communication

Science must not impose any philosophy, any more than the telephone must tell us what to say. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#philosophy #science #telephone #science

Oh my gosh, is that an iPhone?!" Laurel asked, her voice unconsciously rising in pitch and volume. Tamani looked up at her, his expression blank."Yeah?" "He has an iPhone," Laurel said to David. "My faerie sentry who generally lives without running water has an iPhone. That's. Just. Great. Everyone in the whole world has a cell phone except me. That's awesome. ↗

— Aprilynne Pike

#laurel #tamani #awesome