#ran

I think the most romantic letter you ever gave me was “W,” because it’s a couple of soul mate “V”s. Or maybe they were a couple of letters of the same sex engaging in a homosexual relationship. A “W” is two “V”s in a civil union, but the world is not ready to flip that on its head and let them go for the big “M. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #gay #gays #homosexuality

I held a brief debate with myself as to whether I should change my ordinary attire for something smarter. At last I concluded it would be a waste of labour. "Doubtless," though I, "she is some stiff old maid ; for though the daughter of Madame Reuter, she may well number upwards of forty winters; besides, if it were otherwise, if she be both young and pretty, I am not handsome, and no dressing can make me so, therefore I'll go as I am." And off I started, cursorily glancing sideways as I passed the toilet-table, surmounted by a looking-glass: a thin irregular face I saw, with sunk, dark eyes under a large, square forehead, complexion destitute of bloom or attraction; something young, but not youthful, no object to win a lady's love, no butt for the shafts of Cupid. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#appearance #beauty #fiction #victorian #youth

There has been a time on earth when poets had been young and dead and famous - and were men. But now the poet as the tragic child of grandeur and destiny had changed. The child of genius was a woman, now, and the man was gone. ↗

— Tom Wolfe

#changed #child #dead #destiny #earth

Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stairs and then come back up? Same destination, same distance, same amount of work, but two different paths. Who knows, I might find love on one path. Probably the path I don’t choose. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #love #odd

Oh, Zoeybird, did I call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey outloud?' 'Yes, Grandma, you did.' She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. 'Good. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#chosen #funny-things-grandparents-say #house-of-night #turd-monkey #funny

Sam grinned. He even laughed. "What's funny?" She demanded. "I figured something out before Astrid the Genius. I am totally enjoying that. I'm just going to gloat here for a minute." "Enjoy it, it may never happen again," Astrid said. ↗

— Michael Grant

#gone-series #michael-grant #funny

Watergate provides a model case study of the interaction and powers of each of the branches of government. It also is a morality play with a sad and dramatic ending. ↗

— Bob Woodward

#branches #case #dramatic #each #ending

Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#funny

My melon soul Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy ↗

— David Wong

#lyrics #random #funny

Not marble nor the gilded monuments Of princes, shall outlive this powerful rhyme, But you shall shine more bright in these contents Than unswept stone, besmeared with sluttish time. When wasteful war shall statues overturn And broils roots out the work of masonry, Nor mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn The living record of your memory. 'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room Even in the eyes of all posterity That wear this world out to the ending doom. So, till judgement that yourself arise, You in this, and dwell in lovers eyes. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#fame #memory #monuments #posterity #remembrance