#ran

You are hard at work madam ," said the man near her. Yes," Answered Madam Defarge ; " I have a good deal to do." What do you make, Madam ?" Many things." For instance ---" For instance," returned Madam Defarge , composedly , Shrouds." The man moved a little further away, as soon as he could, feeling it mightily close and oppressive . ↗

— Charles Dickens

#france #funny #humor #mob #revolution

Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus. ↗

— Tara Sivec

#general-hospital #gh #funny

I want to be a man of mountaintops: to scale the heights, achieve a sublime transcendence, and breathe in the thin air. Transcendence requires suffocation. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#suffocation #transcendence #funny

Who is your favorite character in the series? Or...if that's too hard, why do you like each one and who drives you crazy? Puck: Well, she likes me best, of course. I'm the handsome, charming one. Ash: Yes, that's why she gave you your own book. Oh, wait. Puck: No one asked you, ice-boy. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#funny

I have alchemised my love for Agatha, and turned it into gold, which is the embodiment of Orafoura. I am the Elixir of Love--hot, cold, dry, and moist, I am the quintessential element: Jell-O. Agatha makes me yummy like John Wayne rides horse radish. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #random #funny

To recognize one's own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence. ↗

— Eckhart Tolle

#insanity #sanity #transcendence #life

I should have known the power-hungry slave drivers at River's Edge would see my five days of freedom only as a challenge to be filled. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#freedom

Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. ↗

— Diane Arbus

#random #weird #funny

I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - where do I get these metaphors from? ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#funny