#random

A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who’s as dry and exciting as a sack of flour. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #boring #brick-and-blanket #funny #humor

A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

The results of each Brick and Blanket test are so unique to each person that I’d be willing to bet (with your money, of course) that if you lined up two monozygotic twins, two clones of John Cleese, and Newton and Leibniz, no pair of answers would be identical. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick and blanket could be used as a large slingshot, put the brick in the blanket swing it around and release. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #random #brick-and-blanket-test

A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

We always knew how to honor fallen soldiers. They were killed for our sake, they went out on our mission. But how are we to mourn a random man killed in a terrorist attack while sitting in a cafe? How do you mourn a housewife who got on a bus and never returned? ↗

— A. B. Yehoshua

#attack #bus #cafe #fallen #got

When I'm deciding to read a book, I never open to the first chapter, because that's been revised and worked over 88 times. I'll just turn to the middle of the book, to the middle of a chapter, and just read a random page and I'll know right away whether this is the real deal or not. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#because #been #book #chapter #deal

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #random #the-maze-runner #funny

If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I'd have 50 cents. That's assuming drag queens are half price. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cents #discount #dollar #drag-queen #drag-queens

Why is it beautiful that humanity keeps coming back? Herpes does that, too. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#funny #random #warm #beauty