#relationship

I had a dream about you last night... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You spoke to me. That’s how I knew it was only a fantasy. My mumbled response was too logical for me to be asleep. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night. Eons ago, we created a Universe, then sat back and watched miniature versions of ourselves try to make all the same mistakes we did. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

She let him finish her sentences for her for so long that now he starts them too. ↗

— David Mitchell

#dreams

I had a dream about you. We went for a ride—you on all fours, and me on your back, and you didn’t like it when I kept calling you “donkey face.” I was shocked, and I said, “You should be flattered that I think you look like Miley Cyrus.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me, but I also looked like a mannequin. Between the two of us, we were too fake even for Hollywood. And as such, we were forced to reside in Washington DC.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were in a canoe, and we were paddling across the desert. You said you were thirsty, and I pointed to the sand that surrounded us and said, “No, I will not urinate in your mouth.” At that point I woke up, because I realized I really had to pee—and get a drink of water.
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were Ginger Rogers, and you were trying to teach me to dance, even though my movements were as stiff as a mannequin. I think you tolerated my abysmal rhythm because I was naked, and my body was so sexy it could be used to sell clothes. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period. Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him. ↗

— Steve Harvey

#men #relationship #sex #women #dating