#sarcastic

I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said that it was a joke, it still doesn't go away. ↗

— Joaquin Phoenix

#been #call #go #go away #how

I am sarcastic and dry, but I also have a pretty huge zest for life. ↗

— Krysten Ritter

#am #dry #huge #i #i am

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#different #different kinds #fit #humor #introspective

I feel your scorn, and I accept it. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#humor

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. ↗

— Candace C. Bowen

#humor-quotes #humorous-quotes #quotes #sarcastic-quotes #witty-quotes

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor

...but, dear me, let us be elegant or die. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#humor

Or, I could just sit in the bushes and pump the hand pump until the plumbing was superpressurized to 110 psi. This way, when someone goes to flush a toilet, the toilet tank will explode. At 150 psi, if someone turns on the shower, the water pressure will blow off the shower head, strip the threads, blam, the shower head turns into a mortar shell. Tyler only says this to make me feel better. The truth is I like my boss. Besides, I'm enlightened now. You know, only Buddha-style behavior. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor

Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry. ↗

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#funny #sarcastic #toby #funny

Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War Department has had on file since its inception." She huffed with pure, disgusted outrage, lowering her gaze to the floor to murmur, "I'll kill him. ↗

— Adele Ashworth

#husband-and-wife #sarcastic #funny