#sarcastic

Too young,too young,she chanted to herself. Wrong,of course. I was older than her grandfather but according to my driver's license,she was right. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#humor

Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack ↗

— James R. Tuck

#sarcastic-humor #humor

You're a big help, Mr. I Read So Many Books. ↗

— Laura Ruby

#sarcastic #humor

Phrase the question any way you like…The answer will still be ‘Kiss my ass. ↗

— M.A. George

#kiss-my-ass #paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #humor

Are you fighting evil tonight?...Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up. ↗

— James R. Tuck

#humor

Though he’d never know for sure what had happened to them, his mind was super talented at imagining the absolute worst. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor

I can only imagine what goes on in that head of yours…” he teased. “I assure you I haven’t taken up black magic, ritualistic sacrifice, or—” “Plushophilia?” I tagged on. “Excuse me?…” came his half-confused, half-intrigued reaction. “An obsession with stuffed animals,” I clarified. “I mean, you are a young one…” “Where did you come up with that?” He kept his hands firmly covering my eyes, but I could hear the amused smile in his voice. “Is that even a real word?” “I’m a doctor, I know these things,” I shrugged. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #imagination

I wish I could say I’m low maintenance, but I like some of the finer things in life…like a toothbrush. ↗

— M.A. George

#low-maintenance #paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #the-finer-things-in-life #life

...,I have never visited any city in the world where I was not told that I just missed the golden age. I seem never to be on time." Cyrus Sitema ↗

— Gore Vidal

#age

Hey!” Mena exclaimed “Don’t knock Jeopardy. I love that show” “So do I” Max admitted. “I like it when I know the answers.” Logan added. Trent turned to Logan, “Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so. ↗

— Amanda Kelly

#sarcastic-humor #love