#sarcastic

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#funny #sarcastic #funny

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic. ↗

— Barbet Schroeder

#humor #sarcastic #very

You have delighted us long enough. ↗

— Jane Austen

#humor

...but, dear me, let us be elegant or die. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#humor

Or, I could just sit in the bushes and pump the hand pump until the plumbing was superpressurized to 110 psi. This way, when someone goes to flush a toilet, the toilet tank will explode. At 150 psi, if someone turns on the shower, the water pressure will blow off the shower head, strip the threads, blam, the shower head turns into a mortar shell. Tyler only says this to make me feel better. The truth is I like my boss. Besides, I'm enlightened now. You know, only Buddha-style behavior. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor

So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident. ↗

— Lish McBride

#necromancer #panda #sarcastic #zombie #humor

I paused for a moment, debating whether to turn and look what was happening. My senses told me Obo’s presence was still at my side, and turning my face into the barrel of a gun seemed like an ill-advised way to cap off this day of monumentally stupid decisions. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #stupid-decisions #humor

Want some help with help with that stick in your ass, love?" "No. It's quite comfortable, thank you." "It should be. It's been in there for years." Nix winked at Will. "I hope you'll forgive my wife. She's a bit antisocial." "And water's a bit wet. ↗

— S.W. Vaughn

#forgiveness

Ok look man, you clearly are not hard up for money, you’re driving a range rover, so call whoever has your jaguar or benz and ask them to help you out. I got things to do. ↗

— Holly Hood

#rude #sarcastic-humor #money

She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago. ↗

— Cori Moore

#honeymoon #humour #innuendo #sarcastic-humor #shifter