#sk

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#appearing #apple #basket #baskets #because

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#asked #clothing #i #into #lady

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#because #california #i #i always #kid

I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it. ↗

— Steve Martin

#credit #feel #i #like #skills

I knew I could only play Cyrano if he were Americanized. I had no intention of writing the script myself. I was afraid of it. You're playing with fire when you tamper with a classic. So I went looking for a writer. But it was such a personal idea, and anyone I would give it to would make it his own. It's hard to ask Neil Simon to write your idea. ↗

— Steve Martin

#americanized #anyone #ask #classic #could

When I was in college, I was debating to try my hand at show business, or to become a professor. I just thought of the risk of not going into show business and always wondering if I would've had a chance. Because that's where my real heart was. ↗

— Steve Martin

#because #become #business #chance #college

Forty-two years ago, I came to America from communist Cuba so I might have a better way of life, a freer way of life - a more democratic way of life. I wanted to live the American Dream where if you worked hard and put your mind to the task, anything was possible. ↗

— Mel Martinez

#america #american #american dream #anything #better

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky; and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by. ↗

— John Masefield

#ask #down #go #her #i

Everybody loves a deal on a restaurant or skydiving or laser-hair removal. ↗

— Andrew Mason

#everybody #loves #removal #restaurant #skydiving

I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people except for a few public officials. ↗

— George Mason

#except #few #i #militia #officials