#sk

Here it comes," she said with an expression of pure bliss. "Drug rush ... any moment now ... the surge of warmth ... bye-bye, Mr. Pain..." "Vee-" "Knock, knock." "This is really important-" "Knock, knock." "It's about Elliot-" "Knock, knoooock," she said in a singsong voice. I sighed. "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Boo-hoo, somebody's crying, and it's not me!" She broke into hysterical laughter. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #nora-and-vee #nora-grey #vee-sky

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car. ↗

— Derek Landy

#pleasant #skulduggery #funny

Speaking of… does this mean you get your phone back?” I shrug. “I don’t really want that phone back. I’m hoping my whipped boyfriend will get me an iPhone for Christmas. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#dean-holder #funny #hopeless #iphone #sky-and-dean

He’d use this opportunity to impress Rick and show him that he did, in fact, have more to offer than just being a sexy skanktart. To show that he wasn’t just a brainless bimfoon, that’s when a bimbo breeds with a buffoon, resulting in a true, hot mess. ↗

— Kyle Adams

#drag #drag-queen #funny #kyle-adams #skanktart

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#funny #girl #gracious #humour #hunting

I want your hand without the skin. Bone to bone without the molds. Mouth to mouth, without the porn. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#life #love #love-story #lover #lovers

Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation. ↗

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#approval #black-humor #disapproval #dishonesty #funny

It makes my skin crawl to think about the violent ways snakes, lizards, alligators and other exotic creatures are raised and killed for boots, bags and belts. ↗

— Kelly Brook

#alligators #bags #belts #boots #crawl

I hate Risk. I have for many years now. I hate that you still like Risk. I hate that you guilt me into playing with you because no one else will. I hate that you do the accents of the countries you’re attacking from. And I hate that you wear a beret every time we play. God, do I hate the beret. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#funny #hatred #humor #risk #funny

Hi Liz! You're home!" I replied, my voice louder than it probably should've been. "Hey, how's it going?" she asked, her eyes narrowing and moving shiftily from me to Peter and back. "It's going good. Even better. Is it? Yeah, I guess. Good. Really good. Totally better," I babbled, while Peter could only manage a raised hand in greeting and a weird phrase like, "Down the basement." Liz rolled her eyes and trudged off, calling back as she vanished from view, "I want the results of pregnancy tests from both of you by the time I get out of the shower! ↗

— Hayden Thorne

#masks-series #superheroes #home