#ski

The waitress tapped her pen on the tab. "So do you guys know what you want?" And then he did it, just as he always had whenever he'd been asked that question―he looked straight at Keri with blatant hunger in his eyes and said, "Yes, ma'am, I do. ↗

— Shannon Stacey

#keri-daniels #family

My family never went skiing. My dad was afraid of heights and my mom felt that a vacation was only a vacation if it involved reading at least two books on the beach. ↗

— Lisa Greenwald

#vacation #family

Who’s Beth?” Keri asked. “The bartender at your wedding.” “Oh, that’s right. How could I forget when my husband almost got thrown out of our own reception for trying to hire her like a hooker or something.” “What’s a hooker?” Bobby asked. Keri’s island tan flushed pink. “Oops.” “You put it on the end of a fishing pole, dummy,” Brian explained. Bobby frowned. “Uncle Joe tried to hire a worm? ↗

— Shannon Stacey

#humor #keri #kevin-kowalski #kowalski #family

So, not only am I panicking over the weekend if I need to know my lines, but also if can I get the kids to the zoo. Can I even go to church? I was asking for certain things that would allow me to plan my life a little better. ↗

— Hunter Tylo

#also #am #asking #better #certain

The president took the advice of my East Texas grandmother: If you can skin a cat without getting the room all bloody, why not do it that way? ↗

— Richard Land

#bloody #cat #east #getting #grandmother

Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#bad #corrosive #destroyers #destruction #detractors

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ↗

— E. W. Howe

#annoy #anything #appropriate #asking #friend

She nibbles her pencil... She's human! ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#human #humour #people-skills #friendship

I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bear #bearskin-rug #funny #funny

I want your hand without the skin. Bone to bone without the molds. Mouth to mouth, without the porn. ↗