#sleeping

I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me, but I also looked like a mannequin. Between the two of us, we were too fake even for Hollywood. And as such, we were forced to reside in Washington DC.  ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were in a canoe, and we were paddling across the desert. You said you were thirsty, and I pointed to the sand that surrounded us and said, “No, I will not urinate in your mouth.” At that point I woke up, because I realized I really had to pee—and get a drink of water.  ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were Ginger Rogers, and you were trying to teach me to dance, even though my movements were as stiff as a mannequin. I think you tolerated my abysmal rhythm because I was naked, and my body was so sexy it could be used to sell clothes.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#because #bed #blanket #children #crooked

I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were old, and I was an infant, yet we looked identical. And probably because I knew you were going to die soon, I decided to kill you. I told myself it was the merciful thing to do, but secretly I knew the truth—I’d murdered you for your diapers.   ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Upon the lips of babes asleep I saw light embracing light and so allowed my syllables to rest there as a prayer they might sing in their dreams... ↗

— Aberjhani

#dreams #faith #light #prayer #praying-mind

You smell heavenly. I slept on your side of your side of the bed because your pillow smells of you. ↗

— E.L. James

#pillow #sleeping #heaven

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. ↗

— Mark Twain

#except #exercise #i #never #resting

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. ↗