#sleeping

I get a lot done considering I spend half my day sleeping. ↗

— Robert Rodriguez

#day #done #get #half #i

My friends say, 'Man you're going to have kids sleeping on pillowcases with your face on it! You're going to be on toothbrushes and magnets and stuff.' I guess now that I'm a dad, I'm thrilled about that. ↗

— Hugh Jackman

#dad #face #friends #going #guess

While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in. ↗

— Dean Rusk

#sleeping #two-thirds #us #while #world

Sleeping is forbidden at the age of 22. It's all work and no play. ↗

— Usher

#forbidden #play #sleeping #work

I had a dream about you last night... you made a beard for yourself out of forty two bags of Twizzlers. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were on a bench next to the ocean eating melted chocolate out the belly of a beached whale. I said, “Isn’t this romantic?” and you either silently burped or the stench of decomposition wafted up to my nose, but either way I got the sense that either of those scents couldn’t have been a more appropriate reply. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

People always expect you to be jumping out of a Rolls Royce and being in the papers for drunk and disorderly or sleeping around. ↗

— Davy Jones

#around #being #disorderly #drunk #expect

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#sleeping-in #humor

I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Mass narcolepsy is one of the more fortunate side effects of profundity. It ensures everyone will have a singular awareness of life that won’t overlap with yours. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #narcolepsy #profundity #sleeping #funny