#sm

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. ↗

— Gasmaskman

#humor #sarcasm #witty #humor

I’m too big of a fan of sin and debauchery to be a Christian. ↗

— J.C. Wickhart

#humor #humor

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all. ↗

— Joe Hill

#sarcasm #humor

But with man the case is otherwise, in that when logic leads to any humiliating conclusion, the sole effect is to discredit logic. ↗

— James Branch Cabell

#humor #humor

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

Why do we have to get up at five? The war's over, for God's sake. ↗

— J. D. Salinger

#humor #humor

Whether a man is a criminal or a public servant is purely a matter of perspective. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#ethics #humor #relativism #humor

You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up. ↗

— Lish McBride

#sarcasm #sex #smooth #humor

Everyone praises the endurance of the ascetic, but no one appreciates the stamina of the hedonist. To laugh until the throat burns and smoke a cigar to soothe it, to black out but not pass out, to love without climax, to be immortal in the moment – what stoic has such fortitude? ↗

— Bauvard

#hedonism #humor #pleasure #stoicism #funny

We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#humor #ideas #mind-power #revolution #sarcasm