#sm

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #mormonism #religion #robot #humor

Tumbling into a dark, Lewis Carroll labyrinth of filth, pursuing a white rabbit of smut! ↗

— Russell Brand

#lewis-carroll #smutty #humor

الأدباء ينتحرون دائما في النهاية. رجال التحريات يعرفون هذا. لكنهم كذلك يعرفون أن الأدباء لا يبذلون جهدا في إخفاء جثثهم بعد الإنتحار. إنهم مهملون ويتركون جثثهم بأمخاخهاالمتفجرة وشرايينها المقطوعة في أي مكان، كأن باقي البشر خدمٌ لهم. إنهم مغرورون كذلك. ↗

— أحمد خالد توفيق

#sarcasm #humor

No matter how grouchy you're feeling, you'll find the smile more or less healing. It grows in a wreath all around the teeth thus preserving the face from congealing. ↗

— Anthony Euwer

#smiling #humor

The true reader reads every work seriously in the sense that he reads it whole-heartedly, makes himself as receptive as he can. But for that very reason he cannot possibly read every work solemly or gravely. For he will read 'in the same spirit that the author writ.'... He will never commit the error of trying to munch whipped cream as if it were venison. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#books #criticism #humor #interpretation #literature

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark

There is a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.' - Boston, Mass., Oct. 3, 2000 ↗

— George W. Bush

#humor #trust #humor

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me. ↗

— Daniel O'Malley

#humor #sarcasm #scifi #humor

To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#humor #names #salesmen #humor

They probably have me up on a poster by now. Warning: this girl is emotionally unstable. Do not allow near hot beverages. ↗

— Abby McDonald

#humor #humor