#strange

A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small knife, or really sharp teeth, and is able to chew through the cloth separating him from our American freedom. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #flag #flagpole #funny #honor

My uncle was always trying to staple rodents and small mammals to my torso when I was growing up. He’d always say, “Come on, this will put hair on your chest.” No, thanks, I’d say. I’ll stick to super-gluing wigs across my pecks. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #growing-up #odd #strange #surreal

If my name were Mememem, and I had just ran into someone who should have known my name but couldn’t recall it, I’d probably say, “I can’t believe you don’t remememember my name. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #memory #name #strange #weird

I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

A blanket, coupled with an impressive erection, could serve as a suitable replacement for a lost tent at next year’s “Bring your son to work night” at NAMBLA’s manufacturing plant. What does NAMBLA make? NAMBLA makes me sick.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seriously. I’ll bet if I had a mustache, they’d take me seriously. #catch22
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— Jarod Kintz

#cops #funny #humor #mustache #police

A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door that they want to stop people from opening it up? I don’t know, but it’s got to be diabolical, and if anything is to be stopped, it’s not the door—it’s the evil plan by the Door Master to take over the world.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Love between strangers takes only a few seconds and can last a whole life. ↗

— Simon Van Booy

#love #strangers #life

Life is stranger than biology textbooks. ↗

— David Rains Wallace

#life #strange #life