#tele

At Sea Oak there's no sea and no oak, just a hundred subsidized apartments and a rear view of FedEx. Min and Jade are feeding their babies while watching How My Child Died Violently. Min's my sister. Jade's our cousin. How My Child Died Violently is hosted by Matt Merton, a six-foot-five blond who's always giving the parents shoulder rubs and telling them they've been sainted by pain. Today's show features a ten-year-old who killed a five-year-old for refusing to join his gang. The ten-year-old strangled the five-year-old with a jump rope, filled his mouth with baseball cards, then locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out until his parents agreed to take him to FunTimeZone, where he confessed, then dove screaming into a mesh cage full of plastic balls. The audience is shrieking threats at the parents of the killer while the parents of the victim urge restraint and forgiveness to such an extent that finally the audience starts shrieking threats at them too. Then it's a commercial. ("Sea Oak") ↗

— George Saunders

#forgiveness

On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead. ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#funny #reading #television #funny

Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Don’t bother introducing yourself. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #telepathy #funny

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. ↗

— Ogden Nash

#home #hope #middle #middle age #night

Do we have to have the 'don't lie to the telepath' talk again? It won't take long. I say 'don't lie to the telepath, it never works,' you glare at me, and then you go find something you can hit. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#telepath #humor

Sarah turned her narrow-eyed gaze on him, making me glad once more that Antimony's comic books got it wrong, and telepaths can't actually kill you with their brains. Give you a whopping headache and earworm you with annoying jingles, yes; kill you, no. (Although sometimes, when she's managed to stick "The Happy Banana Song" in my head for a week, I sort of wish she could kill people with her brain. It would be kinder.) ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor #telepathy #humor

Wonder why we can do this,' he called out with his mind. The mental effort of speaking to her was already straining—he felt a headache forming like a bulge in his brain. 'Maybe we were lovers,' Teresa said. Thomas tripped and crashed to the ground. Smiling sheepishly at Minho, who’d turned to look without slowing, Thomas got back up and caught up to him. 'What?' he finally asked. He sensed a laugh from her, a watery image full of color. ↗

— James Dashner

#lovers #maze-runner #telepathy #teresa #humor

Everything has been homogenized. Over time, with television and jet travel, everybody has blended together. Some of our wonderful charm has been lost. ↗

— Bruce Paltrow

#blended #charm #everybody #everything #homogenized

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. ↗

— Gore Vidal

#chance #i #miss #never #sex

He seems to want confrontation not only with the legislature and with the other elected officials, but he wants constant confrontation in order to be center stage on the television screen. ↗

— Bill Scott

#confrontation #constant #elected #elected officials #legislature