#th

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#better #could #i #i wish #league

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#cord #go #hear #hold #i

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#football #how #like #now #people

A totalitarian state is in effect a theocracy, and its ruling caste, in order to keep its position, has to be thought of as infallible. But since, in practice, no one is infallible, it is frequently necessary to rearrange past events in order to show that this or that mistake was not made, or that this or that imaginary triumph actually happened. ↗

— George Orwell

#theocracy #totalitarianism #religion

Just as long as something is gained, a lesson is learned. I do like those. The more quiet victories are always great. ↗

— Jon Heder

#gained #great #i #i do #just

When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse. ↗

— Jon Heder

#bad #cried #day #feel #feels

My ambition is to do a good job. I never plan anything. ↗

— Ilie Nastase

#anything #good #good job #i #job

Everything that I've done in my life was to lead me to my work with the animals. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#everything #i #lead #life #me

He was such a fabulous drama coach. What better person to have than Alfred Hitchcock? His work as a director was impeccable. I learned so much. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#alfred hitchcock #better #better person #coach #director

I didn't think any amount of money was worth something that would take away what you believed in or what you stood for. I didn't want to do something my parents and daughter couldn't be proud of. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#any #away #believed #daughter #i