#tin

It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction. ↗

— Woody Allen

#christina #vicky #funny

Alvin smiled back, and kissed her. "People talk about fools counting chickens before they hatch. That's nothing. We name them. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#counting #fools #funny #funny

Eating be eating, b'ain't it, Birdie?' 'Nay, Uncle Bear: In Caermelor, at the Royal Court, they be so-oh, so much more advanced than anywhere else. 'Tis not done to wipe your fingers on your hair or the tablecloth, or belch, or speak with your mouth full of food, or scratch, or pick your teeth at table. Ye have to use little forks to pick up the food. Ye not allowed to pour wine for your betters or for yourself, but to wait for them to deign to pour it for ye, if they be feeling generous. And the carving of the meats must be done a certain way, and as for the toasts-it would take ye a whole day just to learn the complications. 'Takes the fun out of eating,' observed Sianadh. ↗

— Cecilia Dart-Thornton

#food #funny #food

Coordinating the retreat was important too, so important that Jiaan had assigned Aram as Fasal's assistant, to be sure he didn't overlook anything important. Like the fact that they were supposed to retreat. ↗

— Hilari Bell

#funny #retreating #funny

Serious literature does not exist to make life easy but to complicate it. ↗

— Witold Gombrowicz

#writing-craft-talent #life

Holy fudge tits. ↗

— Sidney Bristol

#flirting-with-rescue #funny #funny

Hello, Martin. ↗

— William Sleator

#fat-lady #funny #martin #funny

Six minutes isn’t sex,” I hear him saying as my eyes crash shut. “Six minutes is a boiled egg. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#nathaniel #samantha-sweeting #sex #funny

The strongest should come first in comedy because once a character is really established as funny everything he does is funny. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#funny

Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control reality by purely material means... airline insurance replaces the fear of death with the comforting prospect of cash. ↗

— Cecil Beaton

#airline #belief #cash #comforting #control