#tomato

I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve ever served to an unsuspecting customer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #customer #dining #food #funny

When I was in kindergarten, I had one line in a little play. I said, I am Patrick Potato and this is my cousin, Mrs. Tomato, and I heard laughter. I wanted to be an actress from that moment on. ↗

— Doris Roberts

#am #cousin #had #heard #i

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. ↗

— Andy Rooney

#eat #effort #every #except #federal

Some people meet people in the grocery store, but I get my tomatoes and I'm out. ↗

— Ryan Seacrest

#grocery #grocery store #i #meet #out

I weighed 190 when I got to boot camp, I came out at 178. I ate only the beans and tomato sauce. ↗

— Tom Sizemore

#beans #boot #boot camp #came #camp

So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#big #bottles #breakfast #coffee #cream

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes. ↗

— Will Cuppy

#beginning #just #people #pretty #puts

All right, then, I'd die for you. How about that? Don't you think somebody could die for love? ↗

— Fannie Flagg

#love

On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#girlfriend #humor #ketchup #tomato #funny

When you cut that eggplant up and you roast it in the oven and you make the tomato sauce and you put it on top, your soul is in that food, and there's something about that that can never be made by a company that has three million employees. ↗

— Mario Batali

#company #cut #employees #food #made