#u

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#forgotten #had #i #long #sex

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#birth #daughter #easy #go #had

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#come #group #out #routines #therapy

I am furious about everything. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#am #everything #furious #i #i am

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#else #like #lot #mix #natures

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#comic #female #girl #little #little girl

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#boy #boy george #dress #england #george

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#because #funny #lucky #lucky ones #old

Every television show you go on is a choice. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#every #go #show #television #television show

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#comedy #could #garbo #had #her