#u

That's so cute! They have birdbaths in the church! ↗

— Hilary Duff

#funny #hilary-duff #funny

You don’t love me!” Agatha shouted. When she said that, I said I couldn’t agree more. Of course I completely disagreed with her, and that is why I simply could not agree more. It took all my effort to agree to the degree that it took to even be disagreeable about it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #funny

Lonely people have enthusiasms which cannot always be explained. When something strikes them as funny, the intensity and length of their laughter mirrors the depth of their loneliness, and they are capable of laughing like hyenas. When something touches their emotions, it runs through them like Paul Revere, awakening feelings that gather into great armies. ↗

— Mark Helprin

#intensity #laughter #loneliness #lonely-people #funny

The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things . . . the trivial pleasure like cooking, one's home, little poems especially sad ones, solitary walks, funny things seen and overheard. ↗

— Barbara Pym

#funny

Mr. Vey, you cannot be stuffed into a locker without your consent." Dallstrom said, which may be the dumbest thing ever said in a school. "You should have resisted. That's like blaming someone who was struck by lightning for getting in the way. ↗

— Richard Paul Evans

#consent #funny #humor #humour #lighting

It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare, you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." "And what is that nightmare, Craig?" "Life. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#life #nightmare #funny

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-but-true #humor #humorous #humorous-quotes #funny

Otter! Otter! Otter! Don’t lead cows to slaughter! I love you, and I know I should’ve told you soon-a But you didn’t buy the dolphin-safe tuna! ↗

— T.J. Klune

#poetry #funny

Silena appeared out of the woods, her sword drawn. Her Aphrodite armour was pink and red, colour coordinated to match her clothes and makeup. She looked like Guerilla Warfare Barbie. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#pink #silena-beauregard #funny

And so really, you have given me no choice but to take you shopping by force.” She sighed, then reached up, dropping her sunglasses down from their perch on her head to cover her eyes. “Do you even realize how happy the average teenage girl would be in your shoes? I have a credit card. We’re at the mall. I want to buy you things. It’s like adolescent nirvana.” - Cora ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#funny