#u

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#four #get #good #i #like

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#cord #go #hear #hold #i

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fix #gonna #i #joke #last

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#football #how #like #now #people

I relate to most of the characters I play, because I do feel like an outsider. ↗

— Jon Heder

#characters #feel #i #i do #like

I want to get up there and tell entertaining stories but that are also to a certain extent clean. ↗

— Jon Heder

#certain #certain extent #clean #entertaining #extent

I'm not going chic, I swear. The geek endures. But, I mean, a snazzy cool suit looks good. ↗

— Jon Heder

#cool #endures #geek #going #good

Just as long as something is gained, a lesson is learned. I do like those. The more quiet victories are always great. ↗

— Jon Heder

#gained #great #i #i do #just

Normally I avoid movies where the aliens look like humans. It's cheesy. ↗

— Jon Heder

#cheesy #humans #i #like #look

What we did in our childhoods makes us who we are now. ↗

— Jon Heder

#did #makes #now #our #us