#us

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.' 'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.' Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#gathering #grudges #humor #humorous #mages

So, Beav, tell me about yourself." "I'm Blue." "Sweetheart, if I had your dubious taste in men, I wouldn't be too happy, either." "My name is Blue. Blue Bailey. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humore #natural-born-charmer #romance #susan-elizabeth-phillips #humor

It's so shameful of me: I like you. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

I know by now you think I should have straightened myself out - Thank you, drop dead! ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#misery #moroseness #subconscious #humor

Close your eyes, and think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you. ↗

— Morrissey

#love #lyrics #music #humor

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #humor #humorous #irony #satire

Was it fate? Was it destiny?" "I think it was Alan Blunt. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#humor

...personal torture instructor...I mean physical therapist. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor