#we

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#children #first #guy #i #last

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#bought #ear #experienced #i #i think

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#grandmother #husbands #just #napping #she

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#body #disappeared #every #every time #gotten

My mother's mother is a very tough cookie. She buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#cookie #husbands #just #mother #napping

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#comedians #competitors #dancing #female #fewer

Well, visual language is another boring discussion about the nature of film. ↗

— Alan Rudolph

#another #boring #discussion #film #language

I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#fact #i #i can #in fact #joke

I've met people who are baffled by children, as though they were never children themselves. ↗