#wife

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#always #day #did #eye #garbage

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#boyfriend #broke #her #just #marriage

There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car and it looks like it's going to come out an indecent picture, don't I have a right to object? ↗

— Bobby Darin

#certain #come #going #i #indecent

I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife. ↗

— Lee Trevino

#anything #been #everywhere #except #i

If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy. ↗

— Chris Daughtry

#buy #happy #her #i #new

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' ↗

— Larry David

#birthday party #funny #gave #got #hey

My wife is short, and my two kids are also small. ↗

— Warwick Davis

#kids #short #small #two #wife

The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife. ↗

— Danny DeVito

#amazing #father #felt #footnote #his

We all know that television is better for women as they get into their 40s. You could be more three-dimensional, not just the wife or the mother. ↗

— Dana Delany

#could #get #into #just #know

I hate shaving. It's much easier to just do a little stubble, but my wife and daughter like it when I'm clean-shaven. If you see me with a clean face, then you know I'm in the kissing mode! ↗

— Patrick Dempsey

#daughter #easier #face #hate #i