#women

Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike." Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on." Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?" It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #women #humor

As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian. ↗

— Helen Fielding

#humour #power #thirties #twenties #women

Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women. It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#escape #eve #humor #paradise #sarcasm

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ↗

— Jean Kerr

#conversation #gender #humor #language #men

Emotions unreel in her like spools of cotton. ↗

— Louise Erdrich

#simile #women #simile

Innocence invites protection, yet we might be smarter to protect ourselves against it... ↗

— Megan Johns

#contemporary-romance #innocence #love #romance #women-s-fiction

Inside a song has always been the one place I'm most at home. Music never abused me, never made me sick never tried to kill me. Music is the one thing I can't afford to lose. ↗

— J. Matthew Nespoli

#violence-against-women #home

When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman. ↗

— P.B. Kerr

#men #women #humor

And before you barrel through some idiotic Cosmo girl list of how-well-do-you-know-your-man questions, let me say that I don't know squat about him except that he kisses like a god and screws like a devil. ↗

— Kristin Hannah

#women #humor

...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny... Do you have anything to say to that?' Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it. I don't say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up. ↗

— Tina Fey

#feminism #humor #women #funny