#you

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. ↗

— David Sedaris

#do you know #how #know #laughing #listening

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#biggest #biggest problem #failed #failure #feel

I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#into #leave #me #part #perfect

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#cheaper #easter #get #greek #later

They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean? ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#cult #cult thing #expected #hired #i

Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#check #get #i #i do #little

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' ↗

— David Sedaris

#birthday #birthday party #certain #clown #forever

I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. ↗

— David Sedaris

#good #i #i always #like #people

I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. ↗

— David Sedaris

#i #iron #like #listening #same

If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve. ↗

— David Sedaris

#diary #get #read #somebody #you