#z

I pee whilst seated. But it’s hard to focus with people honking at me.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #random #random-thought #silly

Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blood #crazy #culinary #food

So, explain this," Avery said, "You just, what, hang around the Academy all day? Are you trying to redo your high school experience?" "Nothing to redo," said Adrian loftily. "I totally ruled my high school. I was worshiped and adored—not that that should come as a shock." Beside him, Christian nearly choked on his food. "So. . .You're trying to relive your glory days. It's all gone downhill since then, huh?" "No way," said Adrian. "I'm like a fine wine. I get better with age. The best is yet to come." "Seems like it'd get old after a while," said Avery, "I'm certainly bored, and I even spend part of the day helping my dad." "Adrian sleeps most of the day," noted Lissa, "So he doesn't actually have to worry about finding things to do." "Hey, I spend a good portion of my time helping you unravel the mysteries of spirit," Adrian reminded her. "And," he added, "I can visit people in their dreams." Christian held up a hand. "Stop. I can feel there's a comment coming on about how women already dream about you. I just ate, you know." "I wasn't going to go there," said Adrian. But he kind of looked like he wished he'd thought of the joke first. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#avery #christian-ozera #lissa-dragomir #age

Don't run I never liked fast food ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #vampires #food

The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.
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— Jarod Kintz

#dad #family #funny #humor #life

When you have wisdom that another person knows that he needs, you give it freely. But when the other person doesn't yet know that he needs your wisdom you keep it to yourself. Food only looks good to a hungry man. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#knowledge #food

Good kitty" "Why do you encourage them?" "They're good kitties." "They're your minions." "Everyone needs a minion or two" "You won't be so pleased when you find me ground up in their food bowl one day. ↗

— Abigail Roux

#ty #wesson #zane #food

So, not only am I panicking over the weekend if I need to know my lines, but also if can I get the kids to the zoo. Can I even go to church? I was asking for certain things that would allow me to plan my life a little better. ↗

— Hunter Tylo

#also #am #asking #better #certain

Nothing makes me happy quite like a boatload of freshly fried fast food, smothered in good old MSG. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#crescendo #hush-hush #quote #food

He wanted to see her eat. After the sex, after he came inside her, he wanted to have her eat food he'd bought her, and he wanted her to take the stuff from his hand. Hell, he wanted to go out and kill something for her, bring the meat back, cook it himself, and feed her until she was full. Then he wanted to lie beside her with a dagger in his hand, protecting her as she slept. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#food