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I've never confessed this to anyone; but it hurt me when he spoke about him. If he had asked, if he had meant it, I think I might have dropped everything right there to be with him. My friends treated me like a junkie, and I can't even fault them. I lied so much, while all I could think about was. Something. Him. It feels like everything has changed, and I don't know how to feel about it. Is it really possible to get over someone if you still love them? If so, how?
My best friend told me that he’s dying and I haven’t talked to him over 10 days. I just ghosted him. I don’t know why, I just freaked. I was already mad at him because he called me out on some of my bs and instead of not defending myself as usual I vanish and hide as if it never happened. I’ve done this for decades when it becomes tough and not easy.
He’s a very blunt, honest guy, but I don’t know if I’m just too afraid to confront the fact he’s dying or I’m still mad that he called me out on my avoidance and confrontation issues. He said he’s been trying to find a way to tell me for a while because I’m so fragile and emotional and look what I do, I ghost him.
My husband doesn’t like him because he figured him out in 5 seconds and I sense jealousy. He knows we have this connection that we never have had and my friend knew my husband was a terrible braggart because he had low self esteem. He knew in seconds. He was right though.
We rarely saw each other much in many years because of my avoidance issues but my husband is obviously a factor. We never slept together, but we both wanted to. I love him, so why did I do this to him when he needs me the most?
Do I secretly hate him because he’s sick and dying like all my relatives back home I never get to see either? I don’t know what to do now that it’s been so long and he flipped out saying how cold I was being and his friend accused me of being a child that needs to grow up.
We’re in our mid 40s as it is but I can’t figure out exactly why I did this at all and am still doing it. I pretend I’m ok, but I keep thinking of him, then have sex with my husband and think of him. No matter what I do I think of him and want to cry but also smack myself in the face and seek him out and apologize.
I don’t know why I did this but I can’t seem to stop. Am I weak and a horrible friend? Am I what he said I was, or am I just a b**ch and in denial? I just don’t know, yet I keep avoiding the best friend I ever had who never treated me bad like everyone else did. Do I just deserve to be miserable or am I just a horrible, weak person? I honestly don’t know anymore and I hate myself and often cry for hours. I just can’t stop.
Okay... this is something I've fantasized about for years. The sad thing is that there's no real way to experience it. At least nit in this reality, not to my knowledge anyway.
Growth and size fetishes are out there and I know there are plebty if guys who wouldn't mind being bigger where it counts. For myself though bigger just isn't enough for what's between my legs. Massive us a better description, but I want to be insanely huge to an impractical degree! Like having a cock litterally as big as a large breeding horse or bigger! And that's just the start...
Ironically, even if I had a giant dick, I can be very submissive. The fantasy starts with being enslaved to a Mistress who is obbsessed with makinging her play thing (me) so over endowed that only she would know how to satisfy and stimulate such a slave. To be teased and tormented with pleasure, humiliated even because of how grossly massive I would become! And not just my cock, but my balls to! So massive and full of cum that I can hardly walk, or be completely immobilized by the! A Mistress who would reduced me to nothing more than a lewd cum factor who's only good for is being milked of my seed and to my mistress' lewd whims. And if I don't comply with her that she would only make my over excessive cum production even more productive and deny me release for an extended period. Letting then fill and swell until they ache. Leaving me on the edge of orgasm and then just leave me in such a state. Knwing I can't satisfy myself on my own with hiw huge I'd be.
I know this is an extreamly lewd, let alone, an inpossible fantasy. I really do wish I could find a real life mistress with similar interests. Does anyone else have fantasies like this?
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