Listen Confessions

This is my story of mental abuse, caused by my parents.

I'm 11, and I was depressed last year. After my mother called me a bitch, which she did two more times over that year, I became depressed... I asked to not wash the dishes, because I had fallen over and hurt my leg (which still hurt like hell!) but she didn't give a shit! She said, "Stop treating me like dirt, you Little Bitch!" and never said sorry. A few months after, and I still felt horrible. I was fat. My mother had told me this over and over. The truth is, I was tall as an average 12yr old and the right weight for that but since I was ten... I was "Fat" and "Chubby"... One day, I begged my mom to not let me go to a Scout Camp, because I didn't really know anyone in my group, but she just said, "Stop acting like a bitch and get ready!", which made me feel more depressed. I barely spoke on the camp, and I was starting to become an introvert. When everyone else was on a sugar-high I had to do something, but didn't know how. I didn't ask and ended up spilling the container of dirty water. They yelled at me for not asking for help, clearly not understanding what it means to be an introvert, and I felt horrible... A few weeks after that, I heard my mother saying, "Lesbians all should burn in hell!" to my father, and my heart fell to the ground. I've had many crushes, on both male and female. I know I'm bisexual already... The next day we were in the car, and I asked my mother what she thought of gays...
She said, "It's their life. They can do what they want."
"What if I'm bisexual?"
"YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! Uh, but if you are bi, we will accept you.."
I used to be an extrovert, but I'm now introverted. I'm a brilliant actress, but only because I've been hiding my depression. I never cut myself, thanks to my best friend, Eggie, but I came close to drinking bleach when my father told me to "Fuck off", but didn't thanks to her. I have another really close friend, Austin, and he's fine with who I am and I feel wanted for once in my life. I am no longer depressed, but when I say "I love you" to them, I don't mean it... I care about them, hell they're my parents, but they have taught me to not stand up for myself and that I am worthless... I wish there was a way out of this hell. I wish I could tell someone! My friends think I never think about ending it, but that's not true! I believe I'm worthless, regardless of how many times I'm told I'm not! I wish I could just be who I want. I wish I could have been born into a family that cares about my well being! I am shy and introverted, but my family thinks I'm a happy, loud, extrovert! I have anxiety, but I can't tell anyone face to face because I'll break down and crying is weak! I am weak, so why do I hide it? I'm never going to be worth anything! I just wish, that when I closed my eyes and dreamed, that it wouldn't end. That I'd one day wake up and everything will be fine... I just hope god let's things become better...

#depression   #wish   #listen   #help   #love   #never   #friends   #parents   #hate  

My friend had a crush on my girl and acted on it. She was a slut and let him. She told me years later what happened and I am having a hard time getting over it . She blames it on me for not paying more attention to her. That makes me even more mad! According to her my friend pounced on her and started kissing her. She eventually gave in and let him. She was scared of him and didn’t wanna get raped. Yet she kissed him back and let him pull her skirt off! I was at the store getting beer for all three of us. She let herself get fingered and sucked his cock! She blames me for leaving her alone with him. I stopped talking to my friend after that. He swears she asked him for it. I don’t know who to believe.

#listen  

We are both straight girls sharing a two bedroom apartment. The rooms are at opposite ends which is good. But they are not far enough apart because I sometimes hear her masturbating and moaning. I don't want to, but I end up getting really aroused listening and imagine watching. I end up aroussed and masturbating with ideas of having sex with her. I no longer need to hear her moan to get wet, I see her half dressed and looking sexy and I get bad ideas. Time to move out before my curiousity takes over.

#lesbianthoughts   #roommate   #moans   #masturbating   #aroussed   #wet   #listen   #curious