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I wanted a settled life and a shocking one. Think of Van Gogh, cypress trees and church spires under a sky of writhing snakes. I was my father's daughter. I wanted to be loved by someone like my tough judicious mother and I wanted to run screaming through the headlights with a bottle in my hand. That was the family curse. We tended to nurse flocks of undisciplined wishes that collided and canceled each other out. The curse implied that if we didn't learn to train our desires in one direction or another we were likely to end up with nothing. Look at my father and mother today. I married in my early twenties. When that went to pieces I loved a woman. At both of those times and at other times, too, I believed I had focused my impulses and embarked on a long victory over my own confusion. Now, in my late thirties, I knew less than ever about what I wanted. In place of youth's belief in change I had begun to feel a nervous embarrassment that ticked inside me like a clock. I'd never meant to get this far in such an unfastened condition. (p.142)


Michael Cunningham


#desires #glbtq #indecision #romance #change



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Did you know about Michael Cunningham?

Early life and education
Cunningham was born in Cincinnati Ohio and grew up in Pasadena California. He studied English literature at Stanford University where he earned his degree. His short story "White Angel" was later used as a chapter in his novel A Home at the End of the World.

Cunningham is currently a professor of creative writing at Yale University. Michael Cunningham (born November 6 1952) is an American writer.

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