#absurd

I love shark week, all kids swim for free ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor #kids #shark-week #swim #love

Never was a cornflake girl; Thought it was a good solution: hanging with the raisin girls. ↗

— Tori Amos

#bizarre #bizarre

He was a man I came to respect. Not because he wore Ziploc bags for socks (he had sweaty feet), but because he also kept his sandwiches warming there while he walked. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#respect #respect

The phrase ‘popular science’ has in itself a touch of absurdity. That knowledge which is popular is not scientific. ↗

— Maria Mitchell

#knowledge #science #science

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. ↗

— Niels Bohr

#humour #truth #wisdom #wisdom

Sleeping in a tinfoil suit keeps me warmer and helps prepare me for my voyage to the moon. Would you care for some licorice? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #licorice #moon #non-sequitur #preparation

Snarling an oath from an Icelandic saga, I reclaimed my place at the head of the queue. "Oy!" yelled a punk rocker, with studs in his cranium. "There's a fackin' queue!" Never apologize, advises Lloyd George. Say it again, only this time, ruder. "I know there's a 'fackin' queue'! I already queued in it once and I am not going to queue in it again just because Nina Simone over there won't sell me a ruddy ticket!" A colored yeti in a clip-on uniform swooped. "Wassa bovver?" "This old man here reckons his colostomy bag entitles him to jump the queue," said the skinhead, "and make racist slurs about the lady of Afro-Caribbean extraction in the advance-travel window." I couldn't believe I was hearing this. ↗

— David Mitchell

#humor #london #punk #racism #skinhead

I have seen the day, when, if a man made himself ridiculous, the world would laugh at him. But now, everything that is mean, disgusting, and absurd, pleases them but so much the better! ↗

— Joanna Baillie

#better #day #disgusting #everything #him

In the best farce today we start with some absurd premise as to character or situation, but if the premises be once granted we move logically enough to the ending. ↗

— George P. Baker

#best #character #ending #enough #farce

What more proof do you need to illustrate how America is the land of the free than the fact that the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#freedom #freedom