#absurd

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. ↗

— Steven Wright

#culture

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cherry #knot #nonsense #ridiculous

When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#europe #european #football #soccer #absurd

There are some ideas so absurd that only an intellectual could believe them. ↗

— George Orwell

#absurd

Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable. ↗

— Albert Camus

#happiness #absurd

A man is an angel that has gone deranged. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#absurd

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ↗

— Steven Wright

#absurd

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. ↗

— Steven Wright

#absurd

I can't fight. I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys. ↗

— Woody Allen

#absurd

If I had four fingers growing out of my forehead, I wouldn't try to play the piano with my nose. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#music #piano #music