#absurd

The other thing I like, in fact, several months ago I introduced a bill to end the absurd catch and release policy where our government has been giving tickets, essentially, to people who enter illegally and then letting them go and show up of their own volition. ↗

— John Doolittle

#ago #been #bill #catch #end

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#desire #flavor #food #funny #humor

I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny-quotes #gloves #holding-hands #humor

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#doctor #funny #funny-quotes #humor #humor-quotes

The entrance into Jerusalem has all the elements of the theatre of the absurd: the poor king; truth comes riding on a donkey; symbolic actions - even parading without a permit! ↗

— David Kirk

#actions #comes #donkey #elements #entrance

Whether you're gay or straight, with a physical disability, your skin's a different color, it's absurd in this age to not be aware and be concerned of the inequity in rights. ↗

— Carson Kressley

#age #aware #color #concerned #different

Love walked in the door like a dusty cowboy, and I looked that cowboy dead in his eyes and said, “I thought I shot you.” And his eyes never blinked, wavered, or watered as he said, “You did. You shot me in the leg. But you can’t kill love that easily. And today you’re going to learn how deadly Love can be.” That was over four years ago, and I’m still alive. So that was his plan all along, to serve me up a super slow death. Sort of like torture, only imperceptible and more pleasant. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cowboy #funny #humor #love #age

I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #funny #humor #love #surreal

Our system is the height of absurdity, since we treat the culprit both as a child, so as to have the right to punish him, and as an adult, in order to deny him consolation. ↗

— Claude Levi-Strauss

#adult #both #child #consolation #culprit

I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #music #funny