#birthday

The only thing better than singing is more singing. ↗

— Ella Fitzgerald

#better #more #only #singing #than

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me. ↗

— Ellen Glasgow

#birthdays #find #forget #i #including

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#blow #cake #candle #get #getting

On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

There weren't any astronauts until I was about 10. Yuri Gagarin went into space right around my 10th birthday. ↗

— John L. Phillips

#any #around #astronauts #birthday #i

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked. ↗

— T.E. Sivec

#funny #garrett #haha #lol #parker

The accumulation of birthdays is the leading cause of death in the United States and other large land masses. Now while that may not be 100% accurate, it is at least 88% accurate. Actually, the last sentence itself might not have been 100% accurate, but I’m 88% sure it was. Maybe I should just brush up on fractions and percentages before making statements that are liable to hurt the funeral industry, because if birthdays aren’t killing people then it’s bad for the mortality business. And if you can’t trust somebody to die, then you can’t trust somebody. But I’m somebody you can trust. I’m at least 88% trustworthy, at least 88% of the time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accurate #birthday #death #die #fractions

Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #death #freedom #holiday #honor

Death did this to people: making cowards, scapegoats, preachers and mourners of the living; while the dead – ignoble or not – became objects of respect for achieving something before the rest of us. ↗

— Meghna Pant

#meghna-pant #death

I got you a birthday present. The box is the exact same size as a coffin.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#coffin #death #funny #gift #humor