#comedy

Every girl should have at least one wild fling on her resumé. ↗

— Donna Cummings

#romance #romantic-comedy #romantic

Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#comedy

I fart in your general direction. ↗

— Graham Chapman

#comedy

I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#political #comedy

I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror. ↗

— Lewis Black

#raving #stand-up-comedy #stark #comedy

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#grandma-mazur #comedy

[Gethin] was used to New York and schlepping down to Buddakan or a trendy bistro in Manhattan’s meatpacking district or some other hip and happening joint, she thought, running out of ‘Sex and the City’ hotspots. Welsh cuisine probably wasn’t sexy enough for him now, but once you got over the sight of laver bread and cockles, all that iodine was supposed to do wonders for your love life. On the other hand, Gethin Lewis didn’t look like a man who needed any chemical crutch to boost his libido. ↗

— Christine Stovell

#love

Mungkin kau harus berhenti memedulikan apa kata orang tentang dirimu. ↗

— Francisca Todi

#inspirational #relationship #romance #romance-novels #romantic

I'm gonna be percy Jackson when I grow up," she told Hazel solemnly. Hazel Smiled and ruffled her hair. "That's a good thing to be, Julia." "Although," Frank said. "Frank Zhang would be good too. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#frank #hazel #hero #humor #inspirational

The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone’s hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting the other party as if they were responsible for a past death in your family, or your adoption as a child. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #death