#d

Excellent." As soon as Bergman left earshot Vayl said, "I am going to buy you some pom-poms and a short pleated skirt-" Hey, if Bergman needs a cheerleard, that's what he's getting." Vayl tipped his head to one side and smiled wickedly. "I was just thinking perhaps I need a cheerleader as well." Cassandra got up. "If that's where this conversation is headed, I'm leaving." She wants some pom-poms too," I told Vayl. I do not! ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#humor #humor

When good Americans die, they go to Paris,' the ghost said, after taking a drag on a small cigarette. But you’re not dead. I suppose the question must be, are you good? ↗

— Karen Chance

#cassandra #fiction #humor #supernatural #humor

I've just vowed my love for you. Have you nothing to say in return?" Duncan asked. "Thank you, husband. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor #julie-garwood #romance #humor

I am better then most people in life. -Rustin Hieber ↗

— Ryan Higa

#humor #justin-bieber #nigahiga #random-quote #ryan-higa

And now you're off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They'll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you're about." "Everyone keep warning me about sailors," I complained. "Why can't someone tell the sailors to stay clear of me?" Granny snorted. "Oh, you're the fierce one now! Just take care no one else catches you unawares and knocks you on the nob! ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#grandmother #humor #men #sailors #sex

Yeah! Bring it on lake!" -Coach Gleeson Hedge ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #lake #mark-of-athena #humor

I hated that the soldier doll had my name. I mean, please. I didn't play with him much. He was another Christmas present from my clueless grandparents. One time when they were visiting, my grandpa asked me if G.I. Joe had been in any wars lately. I said, "No, but he and Ken got married last week." Every Christmas since then, my grandparents have sent me a check. ↗

— James Howe

#homosexuality #humor #humor

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ↗

— Chauncey Mitchell Depew

#humor #naughty #humor

All women love semi-rape. They love to be taken.It was his sweet brutality against my bruised body that made his act of love so piercingly wonderful. ↗

— Ian Fleming

#rape #sex #wtf #love

Look, Sage. I don't know much about chemistry or computer hacking or photosynthery, but this is something I've got a lot of experience with." I think he mean photosynthesis, but I didn't correct him. "Use my knowledge. Don't let it go to waste. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #smart #sydney-sage #experience