#d

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#decay #life #pickle #preserving #spiritual

One report said that since my time on the run I've had 2,500 girlfriends. I mean you got to realize, I've been on the run for more than 30 years, I have got to have had more than that! ↗

— Ronald Biggs

#girlfriends #got #had #i #mean

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#commonly #her #invisible #namely #patron

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#crime #destiny #excuse #failure #fool

Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#eat #edible #good #man #pig

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#matrimony #particularly #similarity #taste #tastes

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#characters #designed #formal #inquiry #judges

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#does #figurehead #part #talking #thinking

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#draft #drafts #house #money #plan

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#him #man #speak #you