#de

Thank you sir," she said. "I hope that your friend feels better soon." I shrugged. "The ways of the Lord" I said, "are often dark, but never pleasant. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #religon #spenser #humor

The man kisses me and I just hop right on him like he's the hottest new ride at Disneyland. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #love #sex #humor

I’m trying to figure the rules. This isn’t yin and yang, it’s more like yin and yank. The past few days I’ve been going, OK, she doesn’t mix the... romance so well with the single-mindedness of the police work. So it gets me wondering, Is the solution for me to give up our working relationship? Stop my magazine research so we can-?” Nikki grabbed him into a deep kiss. Then she pulled away and said, “Will you shut up? ↗

— Richard Castle

#humor #romance #humor

It took Pueblo a few seconds to take in his surroundings. The first thing he realised was that he felt bruised all over; the second was that his clothes were waterlogged, even more than before, from the quicksand; and the third, was that he had landed on his front and was lying on a large, uncomfortable stone. No, wait… In his disoriented state, he shifted his weight. The stone didn't move. He was lying on his own fucking erection. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #knocked-out #portals #pueblo

Haggis" is a brand of nappies.' I said. 'They're good, we used them for our daughter.' 'Haggis is a kind of food too,' said Semyon, shaking his head. 'Although as far as taste goes, there's probably not much difference. ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#haggis #humor #semyon #food

I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power to languauge ↗

— Preston and Child

#humor #pendergast #preston #still-life-with-crows #humor

Ew, sicko. I was practicing Edomic." "Sure you were," Jason said. "You're just too embarrassed to admit you were playing hide-and-seek all alone. Rachel hiding, nobody seeking. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #jason #mull #rachel

You think Tide is better, or All?' 'Which has a prettier box?' I ask. 'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.' Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.' 'Yes, I do.' 'Good luck with that. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#humor #laundry-detergent #humor

I took my .38 out and looked to see that there were bullets in all the proper places. I knew there would be, but it did no harm to be careful. And I'd seen Clint Eastwood do it once in the movies. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#detectives #guns #humor #irony #machos

Then I guess the rest of my life will be resigned to doggy style sex." The words were out of my mouth before I could think about them. "I mean however long...when we're...that wasn't a fucking proposal." "Okay." "Don't smile that. Smugness doesn't become you." "Okay." "Scoot the fuck over. You're hogging the bed." Austin and Peter. :') ↗

— Dani Alexander

#foot-in-mouth #hospital-bed-conversation #hospital-scene #humor