#drunken

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#drunken-behaviour #humor #humor

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!" - Cassio (Act II, Scene iii) ↗

— William Shakespeare

#drugs #drunkenness #intoxication-and-sobriety #men

And from that time on I bathed in the Poem Of the Sea, star-infused and churned into milk, Devouring the green azures; where, entranced in pallid flotsam, A dreaming drowned man sometimes goes down. ↗

— Arthur Rimbaud

#dreams

I'm not drunk, just a little stoned. ↗

— Gerard Way

#drugs #drunkenness #alcohol

Weary looked at him and shook his head and put the tailgate up and drove down the gravel towards the bivouac, carrying two drunks, who both fatuously imagined, that once in a dream somewhere, sometime, someplace, they had managed for a moment to touch another human soul and understand it. ↗

— James Jones

#drunkenness #dreams

Not addicted to gluttony or drunkenness, this people who incur no expense in food or dress, and whose minds are always bent upon the defence of their country, and on the means of plunder, are wholly employed in the care of their horses and furniture. ↗

— Giraldus Cambrensis

#always #bent #care #country #defence

Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#suicide #temporary

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#drinking #drunkenness #retort #today

I’m a lifeguard at a brewery. When someone falls in a vat, I jump in after them and start gulping. It makes me feel good after letting people drown. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #lifeguards #funny

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room. ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#funny #funny