#funeral

I got asked by a freelance journalist to jump in front of Princess Diana's funeral. How pathetic is that? That would have been the stupidest thing on the planet. ↗

— Mark Roberts

#been #diana #freelance #front #funeral

But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#died #down #drawbacks #everything #expenses

(On the death of Colonel Robert Green Ingersoll) Except for my daughters, I have not grieved for any death as I have grieved for his. His was a great and beautiful spirit, he was a man – all man, from his crown to his footsoles. My reverence for him was deep and genuine. ↗

— Mark Twain

#eulogy #friend #funeral #grief #love

Sensei says funerals are not really for the dead. They are for those left behind. "The dead are long gone by the time a funeral is held," he told us. "Who would wait when the doors of Heaven are open? Only the living would be foolish enough to still hang around on earth. ↗

— Sandy Fussell

#funerals #life #death

Following directly behind the bier were the servants who would, in earlier times, have been slaughtered at the graveside, along with a warrior's horse. Musicians and torchbearers came next, with the rear taken up by the mimes- sinister, silent figures in wax masks modelled on dead members of the family. ↗

— Catharine Arnold

#funeral #mimes #death

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. ↗

— Garrison Keillor

#days #few #funerals #going #i

These funerals always appear to me the more indecent in a populous city, from the total indifference of the beholders, and the perfect unconcern with which they are beheld. ↗

— Karl Philipp Moritz

#appear #beheld #city #funerals #indecent

Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral. ↗

— Rosalind Russell

#failure #funeral #private #public #success

The accumulation of birthdays is the leading cause of death in the United States and other large land masses. Now while that may not be 100% accurate, it is at least 88% accurate. Actually, the last sentence itself might not have been 100% accurate, but I’m 88% sure it was. Maybe I should just brush up on fractions and percentages before making statements that are liable to hurt the funeral industry, because if birthdays aren’t killing people then it’s bad for the mortality business. And if you can’t trust somebody to die, then you can’t trust somebody. But I’m somebody you can trust. I’m at least 88% trustworthy, at least 88% of the time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accurate #birthday #death #die #fractions

Perhaps because it seems so appropriate, I don't notice the rain. It falls in sheets, a blanket of silvery thread rushing to the hard almost-winter ground. Still, I stand without moving at the side of the coffin. ↗

— Michelle Zink

#coffins #death #funerals #rainy-day #death