#funny

Can I have Jake and Coke--uh, Jack and Cock ↗

— J.L. Langley

#funny

Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #shame #education

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn? ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #education

Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #education

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#equality #funny #humanity #humor #inequality

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something. ↗

— Catherine Gilbert Murdock

#funny #humor #humour #size #dating

No bikinis on a first date.” He nods. “I’m sure that’s a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway. ↗

— Huntley Fitzpatrick

#humour #romance #young-adult #young-adult-romance #dating

I remember the second time I took Agatha out. I wanted to go to Dairy Queen, and she wanted to go to Burger King. In the end we settled for wieners and clams at Johnny Hermaphrodite’s. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#date #dating #funny #dating

The value of me is equal to 5097033198, but also 3051982. The first is my phone number, and the second is my birthday. I assign values to people. My fifth grade bus driver had a Cheeto factor of four. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #phone-number #value #equality

I don't have a master. I'm not sure if I have an equal. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#funny #equality